S W Halloween Beware you're in for a scare
by Alexa Wessner
Summary: What do Han, Leia and Luke do at Halloween, I guess you have to find out! Please review!!!! This is very funny lol


Disclaimer- I don't own Star Wars so don't sue me!  
  
Star Wars and Halloween (Beware you're in for a scare.)  
  
Two nights before Halloween, Han, Leia and Luke are sitting down at table in Pizza Hut celebrating Halloween Eve Eve.  
  
Luke said," Leia, thank you so much for paying for this very formal diner! How can I ever repay you?" Has idea. "I know! 5:00, my apartment, be there!"  
  
Leia shakes hand, "done!"  
  
Han says, "oh can I come too?"  
  
"Sure I love three-somes! Three is company too!" says Luke.  
  
Leia says, "But, Luke, I thought I was coming over to, um, well, you know you and me."  
  
Luke said, " We'll get to that! After pin the tail on the donkey and Han goes home."  
  
Han goes, "Hey, why don't I get to stay?" Leia and Luke stare at each other and say, "Um, school project." Han says, "Um, okay, about what?"  
  
"It's a math project."  
  
"Somehow I don't buy that," says Han. "You two are probably going to do it with out me!"  
  
Leia says, "No Han, you know we include me in everything, I mean you in everything." *lying*  
  
Han says, "Oh that's a relief thought you two were doing it and I was going to be all by my lonesome self! Alone! They all drive home in their wagon, which always turns over after turning corners.  
  
"I want a pink Barbie jeep with a pink cell phone too, that Barbie always talks to me about my girly adolescence problems! And she's never busy too, unless she's going to the movies with Ken, doing who knows what! Anyway, she's my friend and she never lets me down like you two do! I bet she'd by me a pink jeep too, if I got to meet her! Wow that'll be the day! " Luke whined.  
  
Han forgot all about Leia, "Barbie's so sexy!" they quickly got home two hours later and are discussing costumes. "I'll be a fairy princess!" says Luke.  
  
Han says, "No you're too ugly for that."  
  
Luke starts crying and says, "What do you want to be Leia?"  
  
Leia shuts the door of her room and says, "You'll see!" Luke finally gets over himself and his long lost desire to be a fairy princess and decides to be a light bulb. "Han can you help me?" Luke whined.  
  
"Sure." Han smirked and pasted pieces of glass together with Leia's Wart-Be-Gone cream.  
  
Luke says, "Now it's time to make me shine!" Luke says, "Close enough to being a fairy princess!  
  
Han says, "Get over yourself," while attaching electrical wires to his head with black duck tape. "Now try not to get yourself hurt for a minute, while I go into the kitchen and get some more wires." Luke agrees and turns it on to surprise Han how sparkly he can be. Gets electrocuted in the process. And his girlish locks of curly hair flies up like the bride of Frankenstein. Han walks in and screams. Leia walks in as Frankenstein and screams seeing Luke.  
  
Luke is overjoyed with happiness and chases Leia down the hall making kissy noises while Leia yelps.  
  
Han decides and says," I should be a witch!"  
  
Luke goes" but you are a witch!"  
  
Han says"and Leia's a b**ch!"  
  
Leia says," hey that's not funny."  
  
Luke decides he should be a Swiss Mountain climber and started singing" Yodel ley, Yoda Ley, Yodel Ley hie hoo," when suddenly he finally, 23 years old, reaches puberty and his voice starts to crack. He sounds like Peter Brady and can't be what he then dreamed of being, and his little black almost dead, heart was now broken again!  
  
Han says, "I want to be, a dinosaur!  
  
Leia goes "I want to b a skeleton so you can see my insides! "  
  
Luke srugs and says, " I can do that for you!" And starts taking off Leia's clothes. "Oh, Leia!" Luke screamed excited, if you know what I mean reaching puberty and all looking down her shirt. Topless Leia screamed, "Ah, Luke, not that way, you weren't supposed to find out about me, in front of, Han! That's supposed to be at your apartment!  
  
Han said, "I don't mind and started putting together his dinosaur costume when Luke has and angry rage and cuts off Han's dinosaur tail while Han was trying it on because Han looked to pretty.  
  
Leia decides, " Why don't you be the guy from Tales of the Crypt. And Luke can be Buzz light-year. And I'll be a Gorilla! It'll be group costumes! Luke in excitement, again, looking at porn pictures of Leia on the Internet, then buys a 5000-dollar trampoline off E-bay. He bounced until he was high enough to soar through the clouds, singing To Infinity! And Beyond, but then starts screeching" I'm flying" with his Peter Brady voice! He then crashed into a tree and dies. Everyone is happy, he comes back to life, and everyone cries even Chewbacca. He comes back down breaking his trampoline, he decides not to be Buzz light-year.  
  
"What should I be," Luke whined to Han. Luke has an idea and says," I want to be a fuzzy bunny!"  
  
Han Replied, " How bout a playboy bunny, Luke!"  
  
Luke asked, "What's that?"  
  
"Oh just like a regular fuzzy bunny, only a lot more people like it!" Han said.  
  
"Really, cool, you mean everyone will like me?"  
  
"Yeah, even I'll like you better, Leia too."  
  
"Wow, I'll be loved for ever, even by Leia." Gets excited. "What does it look like?" Han shows picture of Leia in the Playboy bunny costume. Luke gets even more excited. Luke tries on his costume as Han gets excited watching Luke undress into his costume he got off E-bay for two bucks. "Wow, only something's missing." Said Luke. He stuffs tissues down his shirt.  
  
Han says, "Wow Luke you look like you've been through puberty for 12 years in stead of 12 minutes!  
  
"Really!" Luke screeched excited still sounding like Peter Brady. Leia comes in and Luke gets more exited and compares the Leia bunny picture to him. "Look Leia now we really look like twins!"  
  
Leia said, "I don't go that way," as she tore her gorilla costume by accident and ran away now dressed as a yellow power Ranger. Han Leia and Luke rushed down the hall of their apartment in slow motion, as music played go, go power rangers!  
  
Luke added, "Oh, sexy," once again getting way too excited after taking a look at Leia again. . Han did to. They all went trick-or-treating the night before Halloween. All the neighbors got mad that it wasn't Halloween and stuck pins in the candy. Leia and Han noticed this and told Luke, but he replied, "Candy's candy." And bled internally as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach and fell on top of Leia.  
  
"Get off!" Leia screamed! But Luke was too much in pain to get up. Leia was trying to get up when Luke's pain was gone and realized he was on top of Leia. He then got excited once more and Leia could tell, if you know what I mean.  
  
"Ewwwwwww!" Leia screeched in mental pain. As she pushed the way too excited adolescence 23-year-old brother off of her.  
  
Then Luke said, "I hate this! I wanna go to a real big boy party and do real big boy things since I'm a real big boy now and all! "  
  
Leia added and looked downward to Luke," Luke, you'll never be a big boy. If you no what I mean, you're not the only one who looks up porn pictures of me I mean other Star Wars characters."  
  
Luke asked, "What's that mean?"  
  
Leia, "Oh noting, but I'm rethinking about coming to your apartment after knowing that about you."  
  
Luke said, "What I can be a big boy, just watch I can go to the bathroom all by my self."  
  
Leia said, "I didn't mean that way."  
  
Luke said, "Oh then I can be a big boy, watch, " Luke pulled down his pants and got excited. Leia went blind.  
  
Leia said, "Ow my eyes!" You're definitely not a big boy. Now that I seen that side of you." Leia makes a decision, going to Han's apartment is a better idea.  
  
"Oh man!" screamed Luke sounding like Peter Brady once again. They all decide to go to an adult strip club.  
  
Once there, Luke got upon the stage and started stripping and singing, "It's getting hot in here so take of all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I'm gonna take my clothes off!" Luke then Striped down to his tighty whitys and Han started singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, to sexy for my pants to sexy for my leopard thong, just as Leia stopped him. Drunk Darth Vader came up to Leia not realizing it was his daughter, and of course she didn't know it was her father, yet and started grinding with him.  
  
As this went on, Luke grinded with Han, but then pulled Leia up on the stage and they all started grinding together with Darth Vader even though, Luke knew the truth about his father. Luke couldn't grind so he just did the Macarena of corse that's the only thing he could do remembering the Christmas party and the Indian party. (A/N- these are other stories I wrote with Luke doing the Macerina.)  
  
Leia jumped on stage pouring water down her shirt singing, "I wanna be a cowboy, baby!" Her shirt was now see-through, not wearing a bra and Luke and Han decide not to tell her. As you probably expected, Luke got excited again.  
  
Leia left poor Han and Luke doing the Macerana and went to Darth Vader's Apartment. Hey isn't it weird that they all live in apartments? Maybe they live in New York City, or maybe they're poor because they waist there money on porn videos, well Luke does, and going to strip clubs doing the Macerana. Anyway Leia and Vader slept with each other till 3-o'-clock on Halloween morning, when Leia and Darth talked.  
  
"You know," said Vader, "I have a daughter that looks just like you!" (A/N- I wonder why!)  
  
"Really what's her name?" asked Leia.  
  
"Leia," Vader replied.  
  
"What that's me! You're my father! Eww! Then you mean Luke's my Brother! Ew, Luke told me his father was Darth Vader, but he never told me you were my father! Ew, Luke knew all along and he got EXCITED! That's gross!" Leia got out of bed with Darth Vader and couldn't believe she did I with her own father. Suddenly she was a shamed of herself, still in her power Ranger costume.  
  
Darth, on the other hand was not ashamed at all, nor surprised. He was proud of himself knowing he was about to die anyway by watching the movie Return of the Jedi and he thought he might as well have a good time before he croaks.  
  
Leia goes back to Luke and Han and kicks Han out the door. Leia has a brother to sister, or sister to sister talk with Luke. She says about how she's so ashamed of herself and mad at Luke for not telling her. Luke didn't want her to be mad at him, so he got her drunk and took advantage of her. They did it (finally) and when Lea became sober she saw herself naked in bed lying next to the now really excited Luke and naked. She screamed as she was again blinded by his, well you know and demanded he got dressed and covered up!  
  
"Isn't this nice Leia, now we share a physical and emotional bond with each other!" Luke said.  
  
"Luke! Did you even use protection?" Leia asked, as she hoped and prayed.  
  
"WHAT'S THAT?" asked Luke as he screeched.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shouted Leia in horror and fear. Leia used a self pregnancy test and it turned POSITIVE!  
  
Luke added, "What's wrong Leia? I thought you wanted a big family."  
  
"Not a retarded one with YOU!" Leia then remembered that the test was upside down. She turned down the test and the blues turned to red and it said, NEGATIVE!  
  
"Yes!" Leia rejoiced "I knew you weren't a big boy!" She was so happy, she kissed Luke and that led to them doing it again and Leia was so into it she didn't realize that he wasn't wearing protection again. She got up, while Luke was getting excited AGAIN and took the pregnancy test AGAIN!!!!!!! It turned positive and then turned negative.  
  
"Yes! Now you REALLY not a big boy!" Leia said.  
  
"Oh, man that was my main goal in life, along with being a fairy princess!" Luke looks towards the sky and back towards the ground with a big grin on his face, and then a frown. "I wanted to name our kid, SUNSHINE!" Luke screamed waving his hand slowly across the sky. "I WANT SUNSHINE!" Luke whined and pushed Leia on the bed and started doing it with her against her will, he made sure he was REALLY excited AGAIN!!!!!!  
  
Leia then took a pregnancy test AGAIN and the result was POSITIVE AGAIN! "I know!" Leia said and turned the test upside down. It read POSITIVE! "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Screamed Leia! "I HATE YOU LUKE!"  
  
"But you love me, right?" Han asked as he all of a sudden appeared from being out in the cold besides the door listening.  
  
"Yeah! Luke screamed I reached my goal in life! I'm a big boy now!"  
  
Leia said, "I hate Halloween!" 


End file.
